December 5, 2016

Does friendship really exist or is it a delusion ?  I have spoken to so many people who think they have a friend until they need them.  And, if you have a friend-or are a friend–how do you prove it?

The other day when I was working, I asked a women about her tattoo .  Would she mind showing it to me.  It wasn’t  really hidden–but she had her arm pulled back and I could only gather a glimpse of it.

She was a bit hesitant and showed me a tattoo of a  piece of bread with peanut butter.  I  said, thats nice is there a reason?  Yes, my best friend has one with the bread and jelly –we decided to get them at the same time and we’ve had them for 8 years.  Wow I thought–that is a commitment .

Then I started to think about some of my friendships over the years.  Many years ago I had a friend that I spent almost every day with–we had many projects together-we wrote a small book on the pyramid  game, a game show we couldn’t sell, a movie we couldn’t sell and she did write a play that we got produced.  It was entitled “Ms. Pres” and the music was by Arthur Segal. Then we had a fight and didn’t talk for two years.  I can’t even remember what it was about–we started talking again and out of nowhere she contacted LUNG CANCER.  She died five months later–one month after my mother-

that was nineteen years ago.   It was actually what led me in this direction–although it took me a long time to get here.

I have another friend that I talk to almost every day and when we were younger, if one would go shopping and buy something they thought the other one would like–they’d have the size held for the other one–we still after many , many years communicate almost every day.  I think we’ve  learned a lot from each other, she is a widow and doesn’t live in this area–so the friendship is different.  I think when you make eye contact with someone you learn a lot more about them.  I guess we could face time- but that is different too.

I have many acquaintances  who think they are friends-but not in the true sense.  I think a true friend gives unconditional love and most people are too ego oriented to do that.  Always in it for what is in it for them.  As you get older, I think it gets worse–because ego oriented people can’t change–its too late.   Ofcourse, if you’ve read Elizabeth Kubler Ross on Death and Dying, some people do change . The problem is its too close to death and so the people that know them, don’t get any happiness from their changes.

I saw it with my mother, we really didn’t become friends until about six months before she died.  It was the first time she could regularly say “I love you”.  As they say, better late than never.

Why don’t you take a piece of paper and make a list of who you think are your friends.  And a list of who you thought were your friends.  As you look at the relationships, do you see a pattern of the ones you dropped or dropped you?  Be honest.  I’ll bet you see a pattern.  When you do, be honest and ask yourself if you want to change?  You don’t have to!!!!

Be happy and well–Nancy



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